Why not embrace your ‘flaws’?
![[ tall woman image ]](http://www.thebargainqueen.com/images/model2.gif)
In fashion magazines, I constantly see stories about how to fix figure ‘flaws’.
If you’re tall, short, curvy, boyishly thin, top-heavy, pear shaped or any of dozens of other normal body shapes, they’ll tell you how to look more ‘normal’.
I’d like to consider the alternative. While it’s valid to want to know how to downplay a feature you’re not comfortable with, what if we tried the opposite?
Instead of hiding the features that make use different, what if we embraced them, and even played them up?
You might’ve noticed that I don’t say flaws, I say ‘flaws’, with apostrophes for emphasis. That’s because I’m not convinced there’s really any such thing as a flaw.
In different groups of people, the standards of attractiveness vary a lot. African-American music glorifies ‘booty’, so adult women with normal to large backsides are considered attractive. For high fashion models, the ideal is to be very tall and boyishly slim, but men’s mag models are shorter, curvier but still toned. For teen gymnasts, short and completely curve-free is the only way to go.
Ideal appearances also vary from country to country. In my own experience, by Western standars my looks are considered average to pretty. Not so with Indian men. I’m accosted semi-regularly by Indian men who proposed marriage on the strength of my looks. The pale skin and longish nose that make me average by Australian standards seem to make me special by Indian standards.
There is also a strong element of personal preference in what’s attractive. Different people find different things beautiful, and there isn’t necessarily any consistent rational pattern to individual preferences.
Scientifically, I’ve never heard of anyone defining a conclusive standard of beauty. There’s some evidence that we’re wired to prefer symmetrical faces and bodies, and that men universally prefer a particular waist:hip ratio in women. Beyond that, there doesn’t seem to be one universal standard of beauty — and even the few elements that might have underlying biological reasons for existing aren’t true for all people.
So no matter how you look, someone finds you beautiful.
That makes those magazine specials like ‘how to dress to hide your butt’ or ‘chicken fillets: instant boobs for the flat chested’ seem a little bit redundant. Disguising the features that make you really individual makes you more average, not more attractive.
So before you ‘dress 10lbs. lighter’, consider whether that little bit of extra flesh might make you more attractive to some people, not less.
Tomorrow: some tips for accentuating, rather than hiding, your unique features.
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so true! ^_^ love this entry, Sara!
there are so many cultural definitions of what’s beautiful, who are the Americans (i pick them cos they’re mostly responsible for our ubiquitous media enforcements) to say that being big or fat are “flaws”?
i’ve heard guy friends tell me they hate the waif model look because the girls have no flesh/fat to even hold. heheh… so it just goes to prove there’ll always be “someone for you”, who’ll love what other’s call “flaws”.
One man’s fat is another man’s fetish? Heheh…
yup… too true… my bf prefers my flat-chested look. he hates me in maximiser bras…
Hoorah! It took me till 30 to feel proud of my nose and I now tell people I’m built for speed not comfort, not that I’m scrawny. No I don’t have a newspaper up my shirt I just don’t have pecs! And some people find bespectacled nerdy types attractive.
But seriously as they say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, otherwise EVERYONE would think I was gorgeous!”
loving thizs series of posts!
verrry true!! i have a big bum and it’s time to embrace it. hey, if jlo can do it, so can i!!
Thanks everyone!
Lily, I don’t know any males who really like the waif look. I guess it’s only us girls who’ll take to a look that is only achievable for many of us if we Never. Eat. Again.
Tam, there’s a surprising number of people who do think smaller boobs look better. Something about perkiness over size…
Dean, I’ve met you and you’re not a bad-looking fellow. How sad that pretty much everyone has some sort of body image worry at some time!
Thanks Ivy!
And Alana, there are definitely a lot of people out there who think big bums are great.
When I complain to Mr BQ that I’ve put on a little bit of weight and my bum’s getting big, his response is *growwwwllll* and a funny gesture that indicates he wants to pounce on me. So I guess it’s only me that’s worried about me not being able to fit into my clothes!
Yay! I used to try to downplay my long legs and lengthen my short waist. Now, I’ve discovered a belt up high makes my legs look even longer. Which is a good thing!
Great idea!
Dowdydiva, long legs are nothing to downplay! Good on you for showing them off!